Stern bookshelf.


Fish Tale

A fish went up to a police officer.  He said, “Fish fish”.  The officer, confused, muttered “no, no that’s not right” back to the fish.  The fish repeated what it said, this time seriously undulating its pectorals.  The officer happened to be in the middle of fleeing the scene of the crime, but the fish didn’t understand this.  The officer did, and he thought this fish might be a hallucination.  Maybe it’s telling him to go back and fix the situation he had caused under the awning by the 7/11.  But if there’s actually a fish seriously undulating its pectorals in front of him, maybe he could use it to make everyone forget about what he had done.  I mean, there hasn’t been an emotional fish in the news for a while.  He could work it into his alibi somehow.  Officers don’t commit crimes.  The fish now looked as if it were trying to call to him, its mouth forming what looked like were a’s, e’s, i’s and o’s.  To prove himself wrong, the officer moved his hand to touch the fish.  That would determine what was actually going on.  His hand passed right through its midsection, coming out clean on the other side.  Was it not real?  “This is crazy, I’m leaving” he said, although he was sure he’d heard it start singing.  As he left the fish behind, he realized he’d fled the scenes of two crimes that day.